Sometimes though, I have to come to terms with the limitations of my body; and it hurts my ego.
In the past few weeks, I haven't been feeling well. I've shared a bit of that with you. I'm flaring. My fatigue and pain levels are super high. All of this coinciding with the holiday season has pretty much meant that commitments outside of my family haven't been attended to. It is what it is.
But the reason that I am writing now is because I just had to admit that I can't do everything, and that I am not Super Woman, and I had to admit to a part of my identity I often ignore.
My daughter's school holiday party is in the morning. I planned to be a classroom volunteer for the party. Being a former teacher, I recognize the importance of quality parent volunteers--plus I have the idea in my head that "this is what stay-at-home moms do."
Well, as I write this I am packed in heat and ice, filled up on medication, hoping that I will eventually become exhausted enough that the pain won't wake me from my sleep.
Guess who won't be volunteering for the class party?
Admitting that I won't be able to volunteer is admitting that I'm not a "stay-at-home mom," but rather I am disabled. The reason I am home is not to be a stay-at-home mom (although getting to be present for my kid is a big bonus). I am at home because I am disabled. I can't work. I can't be depended upon to show up at specific times because sometimes my body has other plans.
So, while my little ego is bruised because I can't pretend to be Super Woman right now, I'll have to be content in that I am sending food, craft supplies, and party supplies. My kid will get to school on time with nutritous food in her belly and her holiday shirt on. And for now, that just has to be enough.